Think American weddings are a big deal? Come to India! Wow—no joke here. And appropriately so considering that weddings are for life here, in 99% of the cases. “Love marraiges” (as oppposed to arranged marraiges) are still very uncommon, as observed by the classified section in the newspaper. Whereas Americans go to the classifieds to find a job, yard sale, or car, the entire classified section of the newspaper is for families looking for brides or grooms. The entire section! And it’s not like the personals—they are looking for marriage partners. Dating is strongly discouraged. In about a third of all marriages, the bride and goom do not even meet before they wed (that’s right, they have never seen each other before they’re united for life!). The Indian Government is storngly opposed to Valentine’s Day for the reason that it encourages love marraiges and dating over arranged marraiges.

Haivng been to one wedding, and seen albums from several (a popular activity when visiting someone’s house), one big difference I am struck by is the display of happiness. The bridge and groom remain very serious with no smiling or laughing throughout the entire ceremony. The groom might display a grin now and then but the bride, especially, remains without a facial expression. When I asked about this, I was told it was to show that the bride was pious, respectable, and devoted.
Weddings are a three-day celebration. I haven’t experienced the full 3-day shebang—just the third day, of which I’ll provide a brief description (with no knowledge of correct terminology-- sorry!). In the morning, we went to the bride’s house where all the women were in the center of the room dancing and singing. Everybody in the room fed the bridge a yummy pudding reminiscent of cream of wheat with raisins (kishmish) and sugar (cini). Then we formed a procession led by a quartet of a drummers and wind players. We danced (i.e. copied the moves the other women were making—shaking shoulders and twisting hands) in a rotating circle to the local temple where we went in while the bride’s sister and husband were decorated (i.e. covered) with bright orange powder. Then, we all drove to the marriage hall (the quartet in tow), where the celebration continued into the night. First was lunch, then the ceremony itself, and then everybody lined up to have their picture taken feeding the bride and groom sweets. There was a break in activities until dinnertime so that everybody could go change their outfits (you must change apparently). When we returned to the hall, the group had grown from an intimate 30 to 1000 attendees and the hall had been transformed with lights, decorations, a dance floor, and many tables of food on the perimeter. With over 200 types of food there, we enjoyed a wide range of goodies. The younger folk rocked on the dance floor to Indian pop music. It's traditional for the groom to ride in on a horse and then once he reaches his bride, they sit on a stage on display, being photographed with family.
The bride’s sister was kind enough to lend us outfits appropriate for the occasion (bright colors for women of "marriagable age") although this didn’t stop us from drawing quite a few stares from the crowd—understandable considering we were the only white people there. So how did these white girls come to attend this wedding, you ask? Our friend of two days invited us, of course! I met Venkat Kanuri on my flight to Delhi and he invited Karly, my travel buddy, and me to come along. He’s from south India and now lives in West Virginia. We had a great time and Karly and I now feel prepared for our next wedding coming up in November, which is for the son of our boss.

For all the pictures of this event, check out 'Raj's Wedding' photo album on www.ringo.com and search using my name.